If you’re not careful, it’s easy to lose the essence of who you were when you first laid eyes on your wife. It’s true. I wish it weren’t that easy, but it is. When you were in the dating stage, you had something to prove. You had to prove to her that you were worth her forever. You had to present the best “you” to her. You had this drive in you that desired to hear her say, “I do.” So you stopped at nothing to show her you were the best man for her. There was no other man that could fulfill her needs and desires like you. So you set out on a journey. A journey to hear her beautiful voice sing, “I do,” to you; the man of her dreams.
So you treated her well. You opened doors for her. You pulled out her chairs. You complimented how beautiful she was every chance you got. You were spontaneous. You were full of romantic ideas to keep the love alive between you two. You constantly thought about her. You couldn’t stop talking about her to your friends. You talked so highly of her. You couldn’t imagine disrespecting or belittling her. Hurting her feelings was far beyond you. You treated her like a queen. You had her in love with you.
She was convinced that you were the one. The only one for her. She’d have it no other way. Neither would you. You asked for her hand in marriage. She said yes. A feeling of relief came over you. She said yes.
Time danced along until the day you looked her in the eyes and said, “I do.” She gazed back at you. “I do,” she said. You’d done it. You got the woman you deeply adored to commit to you — and only you. The two of you couldn’t be any happier.
Then things began to gradually change.
You stopped holding doors open for her. She began pulling out her own chairs. You somehow lost your ability to be spontaneous. Her ears stopped hearing you say, “you’re beautiful.” You ceased to treat her like a queen. You began treating like a roommate at best. You’d totally lost the drive to make her feel like the only one. She felt lonely. Hurt. Confused. What happened to the man she thought she married?
The answer is simple. You had a goal: that was to marry her. Once you achieved that goal, you lost the essence of who you once were to her. Subconsciously you felt like you had nothing more to prove. She was already yours. What more was there to prove? What more was there to do?
So now your wife suffers because she’s stuck with a man that had only one goal. A selfish goal, if you think about it. Once you achieved the goal of marriage, you threw her by the wayside. Sure, you didn’t do it on purpose. It probably wasn’t intentional — but you still did it; and that’s not fair.
It’s time to give your wife what she deserves. The essence of who you were is calling you back. She’s calling you back too. You just had your ears closed this whole time. Be the man that she fell in love with. Be the man that she knew when you two married. Make her feel like the only one again. Make her feel beautiful. Revive the romance. Awaken the gentleman in you. Now you have a new goal: to love, cherish, honor and respect her forever. You owe it to her. You vowed it to her. Be a real man and make her feel like she’s your admirable woman again.
Go. Love her.
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