Is This Why You Make Bad Mistakes?

bad mistakes

Marriage would be perfect if both husband and wife could refrain from mistakes. But that’s not the case. We’re all humans and we all make bad mistakes. Good news is — despite our imperfections, we can still work towards making less of them.

How?

It’s all about your sub-conscious and what you feed it with. Your sub-conscious takes in whatever you allow yourself to be around, see or read. The very things that you open yourself up to are the very things that influence and shape your behavior/decision making.

If you associate yourself with negative TV shows, corrupt people and distasteful literature, your sub-conscious absorbs that. In turn, you begin to act like the negativity you’ve been around and make very bad decisions.

On the other hand,

If you enlighten yourself with positive TV shows (if you must watch TV), good people and insightful literature (i.e. the Bible, devotionals, etc) you will act more positively and make better decisions.

What you feed your sub-conscious with not only affects you, but it also directly affects your marriage.

What will you fill your sub-conscious up with today?

Ladies: Stop Hesitating! You SHOULD Have High Standards

high standardsYup. I said it. Any and every woman that knows her true self-worth should have high standards.

It’s not fair for you to settle, now is it?

Married women: set your high standards and have a conversation with your husband about those standards. As a loving husband, he should be willing to meet those standards as long as they’re not unreasonable.

What’s the difference between high standards and unreasonable standards?

High: be financially stable
Unreasonable: become the richest man in the world

High: expecting him to serve you (give you massages, cook for you here and there, etc)
Unreasonable: expecting him to serve you, while you have no intention to serve him

I’m pretty sure you get my point. Set high standards, not unreasonable ones.

Single ladies: you have it easier. Set your high standards now (if you haven’t already). If a man tries to pursue you and he’s not meeting your high standards — then you have nothing to think about. Next.

No need to settle, ladies. Get the love, treatment, care, protection and happiness that you deserve.

Dear Women: Please Realize Your Self-Worth

self-worth

I used to think that the saddest thing in a broken relationship was a man who couldn’t see his woman’s worth. But now my thinking has changed. Don’t get me wrong. A man who fails to realize or acknowledge his woman’s worth is pitiful. It’s absolutely saddening.

But there’s something worse. 

It dawned on my wife and I one night. We were talking about why women settle for a man that treats her like trash. How is it that she still desires to be with him? Why doesn’t she demand a change in his actions? Why does she allow the pain he’s caused to continually persist in her life?

It doesn’t make sense, does it?

Yet, many women still dwell in this sad reality — unable to break loose. Why is she bound? The sad truth is this:

self-worthSelf-worth. She doesn’t realize her own self-worth. Here’s how the dictionary defines self-worth:

the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person; self-esteem; self-respect.

Ladies, this may be hard for you to swallow, but in order to be treated well by a man, the first step you must take is to realize your own self-worth. You have to deem yourself as valuable. You have to deem yourself worthy of being treated well. You must have high self-esteem. And please, respect yourself. self-worth

Don’t wait on your man to do it for you. Because chances are: if you don’t see your worth, he won’t either (although that doesn’t give him an excuse to treat you bad).

Look in the mirror and say, I’m NOT:
– Ugly
– Worthless
– Stupid
– Unlovable

Whatever negativity you feel about yourself — cut it out. You’re none of the above. You just have to realize it.

Did you know…

That you have to demand your man’s respect? Let me explain. I don’t mean that you go and yell in his face, I demand that you respect me, or else!! That’s not going to get you very far. What I mean by demanding his respect is simply this: you get your man to respect you by the way you value and carry yourself.

Think about it.

If you don’t value yourself, you begin to settle for being treated with disrespect. Again, I’m not condoning or making any excuses for men who treat their woman badly. But the truth is, if self-respect isn’t there, he will most likely refrain from giving you the ultimate respect you deserve. Do you really think he’s going to treat you with high-esteem, if you’ve been settling for the sub-par treatment he’s been giving you all along? Psychology Today puts it like this:

You may even be willing to put up with behavior that doesn’t satisfy you, because you feel lucky to have anyone at all, even though you are aware you are not happy.

ReflexionFeature1Please stop settling. Stop looking at yourself through a broken reflection. It’s time to start looking at yourself through a clear reflection so that you can see your true beauty, value and worth.

Once you begin to realize how worthy you are — that’s when you’ll begin to carry yourself like a true woman. Once you begin to carry yourself like the valuable being you are — that’s when you’ll begin to silently and gracefully demand a man’s respect.

He won’t even know what hit him.

I can tell you first-hand. From the time my wife and I began dating, I always made sure I was conscious of never disrespecting her. Why would I take the energy to keep myself in check? Easy. It’s because of how she carried (and still carries) herself. See, I’m a nice guy. But nice guys are capable of making mistakes too. Because of how valuable my wife knows she is, I’m always making sure that I don’t do anything to disrespect her. I know she wouldn’t put up with disrespect, even if I tried it. I saw the value she see’s in herself, which made her that much more valuable to me!

Do you get it?

She demands my respect without ever verbally telling me to respect her.

There’s something about a woman’s presence when she values herself. It causes a man to respect her. Ladies, in all reality, men don’t like weak women. We want your self-worth to demand our respect. We just won’t tell you that. But guess what? I just let you in on the secret. So now, you don’t even have to figure it out. Now you just have to start valuing yourself.

To every women who doesn’t value herself enough, this is what you really are:

qualities-954789_1280Amazing. Smart. Beautiful. Creative. Inspiring. Strong. Radiant. Joyous. Delightful. Genuine. Unique.

Yes, you’re all these things and much more! Start believing it. Start claiming it. Start acting like it. Now go out and demand his respect. The right way.

4 Solid Reasons You Should Stop Lying to Your Wife

lying

Let’s be real for a second. Lying is easy. It’s convenient, requires no effort and conceals harsh realities. That’s why you do it. Right, fellas? You’ve all probably lied to your wife in one form or another. You’d probably be lying if you deny that. Right?

The biggest reason lying is “convenient” in marriage is because it prevents you from “getting in trouble” with your wife. It prevents arguments, fights and saves you from getting dumped like a high school kid. After all, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. Right?

Wrong. Hiding behind lies is shallow. It’s really not convenient in the long run and it can destroy your marriage faster than you can say, “I’m sorry.” Do you really want to know the downside of lying to your wife? Here’s 4 solid reasons for you:

1. It becomes habitual.

Anything you do consistently enough will eventually become a habit. Being a habitual liar is one of the worst traits a husband (or wife for that matter) can ever have. Becoming a habitual liar is dangerous. Before you know it, lies will be the first things to fly out of your mouth; and you won’t even think twice about it. Habitual liars become so consumed in their lies that they start to believe their own lies are the truth. No wife wants a marriage based on lies concealed as the truth.

2. It leads to bigger consequences.

Some men are afraid to tell the truth because they think it will cause his wife to hate him, or an argument might break out, it may cause a break-up, etc. Telling the truth may (and actually probably will) bring about consequences. BUT, what’s even worse is lying and then having your wife find out about it later on down the line. That brings about much bigger consequences. Why? Because you told your wife a lie and then allowed her to believe it for a period of time. There’s nothing like when a woman feels she’s been living in a lie. Fellas, you’re way better off telling her the truth initially. Yeah, it may be hard. But she’ll respect you much more for being real with her upfront. The both of you will suffer much less.

3. It breaks trust.

This one is pretty much a no-brainer. Every time you choose to lie and your wife finds out about it — trust dwindles down. The more you lie, the less she trusts you. The less she trusts you, the more damaged the marriage becomes. Trust is one of your most valuable assets in marriage. Don’t let her trust in you die because of lies.

4. She’ll end up finding out anyways.

As I’ve hinted previously in this post, in most cases, your wife will find out that you lied to her. You know the saying: “what’s done in the dark, will come to light.” The truth always has a way of revealing itself. It may not happen immediately, but does happen eventually. It’s better if the truth comes from you rather than it being revealed to your wife by some other means.

Fellas, at the end of the day, lying is pointless. No woman wants a lying husband (and vise versa ladies). So do you and your wife a favor. Stop lying.