Oh, So She’s Not Performing Her “Wifely Duties?”

quotescover-PNG-74Wifely duties. I’m pretty sure most of you have heard this term before. But what does it mean? Is it derogative? Is this term supposed to insinuate that being a wife is a “job” and not a privilege bestowed upon a woman by God? Does this term suggest what a wife can and cannot do? When you think of or hear the term “wifely duties,” you probably think of cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids. Is this solely the woman’s job and is this all she’s confined to? I think it’s time for a wake up call.

First off, let me start by saying times have changed. Let me explain. In Biblical days and even as recently as the 1900’s, the man was seen and perpetrated as the sole provider for his family. Meaning, he bought the home, paid all the bills, purchased all the food and took care of any other financial responsibilities that are placed on a family. This meant the wife did not have to work and was therefore responsible for taking care of the home, preparing meals and making sure the kids were cared for. There was an easy distinction between what a husband should do and what responsibilities the wife took up. But in this day and age, this ideology seems to no longer exist — and here’s why.

For most families, our economy makes it extremely hard to live off of one income. Am I defending the husband’s inability to be the sole provider? Absolutely not. I still believe that a man should figure out how he can be the sole provider for his family. Any good man should want to give his wife at least the option to not have to work — even if she still wants to. At least the option is there. But for most families, the wife has to work in order for the household to make ends meet. So if your wife works all day like you, should she still carry the load of all the household duties? Absolutely not! That’s not love. Think about it. Your wife is literally helping you in your inability to fully take care of your family’s financial  responsibilities. So what makes any man think that he shouldn’t help her with her “wifely duties” around the house?

Fellas, it’s not feminine to cook for your wife and family every now and then. Nor is it feminine to clean up after yourself and help care for the kids around the house. Wives are not maids. They’re your equal counterpart. So we as men ought to treat them as such. They are more than deserving of it!

If men really want to see their wife cooking bomb meals all the time, cleaning and whatnot, then we should sit down, have a discussion with her and figure out how we can survive off of one income. That will probably mean getting a better job, opening a successful business or working more than 1 job. I have to give flapping accolades to my beautiful wife, because she works full time as well. But she loves to cook for me and I really appreciate that. However, I know that she’s tired after work and doesn’t feel like cooking sometimes. I’m not much of a cook, yet, but I’ve been cooking more often to give her a break. She loves it! I also clean certain areas of the house and she takes care of the other areas. We both work full-time, so it’s only fair. We’re both happy with out partnership and teamwork!

Men, it’s time to be fair to our wives who work full-time, just like us. Don’t look at your wife like she’s a maid or slave to you. Again, if you really want your wife to take on those responsibilities, then you as a man should figure out how to be the sole provider for your family. I’m in the process of doing this. Not because I desire my wife to solely cook, clean, etc. — but because she deserves the option to not work. We both agreed that she would be job-free by the time our son starts school. Even after this happens, I’ll still be more than happy to do things around the house. It’s all about love and partnership. Fellas, it’s time to grind! Your marriage is worth it!

– Micheal

Micheal Boyd
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Micheal Boyd

Author & Blogger at Agape Her
Micheal is the owner and writer of Agape Her, where he publishes articles on marriage advice. His passion for marriage and writing inspires him to encourage husbands to love their wives unconditionally -- as God intended. Be sure to check out his awesome books! You can contact Micheal at: micheal@agapeher.com
Micheal Boyd
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Micheal Boyd

Micheal is the owner and writer of Agape Her, where he publishes articles on marriage advice. His passion for marriage and writing inspires him to encourage husbands to love their wives unconditionally -- as God intended. Be sure to check out his awesome books! You can contact Micheal at: micheal@agapeher.com

10 Comments

  1. I absolutely love this site! If I could get my husband to even consider reading this we could be helped! Everything I say is wrong and I usually apologize (he rarely if ever does) whereas he holds on to any offense for days weeks…months! I’m so tired even though I know God is in control….I don’t know how much longer it’s only been 4 years!…smh

  2. Hi Marcelle,

    Thank you! I’m glad you enjoy my site. I hope you continue to find encouragement and inspiration for your marriage from Agape Her. I pray that God touches your relationship and turns it around. It’s essential that your husband apologizes when he needs to and it is equally essential that he forgives you and refrains from holding onto grudges. Continue to hold on and keep your marriage in prayer! There’s nothing that God can’t fix. I’m rooting for you guys!

    God bless,

    Micheal

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