Today, I want to send out a public warning to those who are still single (meaning you aren’t married). If you’re already married — hang tight — I have something for you too.
Being single (unmarried) is a crucial stage. This is the time when you are on the lookout for the right person to spend the rest of your life with. But for a while now, there’s been a huge issue with the single stage of life. Instead of looking for the right person to marry, people just look for someone to settle for.
It’s desperation. Instead of waiting it out, individuals are ready to get married to the first person that smiles at them and says they look good. Aside from the desperation, there’s a strongly delusional mindset going around:
I know we’re having some issues now, but those issues will all go away once we’re married.
That just hit home for some of you reading this, didn’t it?
I have 3 words for that mindset:
Sorry to burst your bubble, but I’m trying to help you here. Getting married, will not erase the issues you’re having in your relationship.
If he lies to you before marriage, he’s going to continue to make stuff up after you’re married.
If she’s lazy before marriage, she’s going to still be a couch potato after you’re married.
If he hits on you before marriage, you’re still going to be his punching bag after you’re married.
If she spends all her money on shopping before marriage, she will still live at the mall after you’re married.
If the two of you can’t seem to get along before marriage, the two of you will continue to be enemies after you’re married!
Do you get my point? Marriage doesn’t erase the issues you had. If anything — marriage only intensifies the issues! Not only that, but once you’re married, you can’t just get up and walk away that easily. You share a house, you have kids, you share assets and now you’ve got to figure out how to split it all up! It’s not worth it!
If you’re still single, my warning is this:
Do NOT get married to someone that you’re not compatible with. If you can’t stand something about that person, then you might as well call it off. Because the very thing you can’t stand, will be the very thing that will make your marriage a living hell. Why put yourself through that? There’s no point!
To the married couples: you might have noticed that your spouse is still the same person as they were before marriage. You probably thought that things would change. But at the end of the day, you’re struggling with the same issues that you dealt with before you met at the altar. Now that you’re married, my best advice to you would be to work your hardest to get those issues resolved. Communicate with your spouse, talk to God and love unconditionally. It can be fixed if you both persevere.
To the single couples: if there’s an unbearable issue in your relationship that you’re unable to fix before marriage, my best advice would be to walk away. Can people change? Yes. But the hope of change shouldn’t be the reason you get married. Your decision to marry should be based on your ability to love the person for who they are now. Not who you hope they will become. Don’t make the mistake of marrying someone and hoping the issues will simply vanish. Save yourself a lifetime of hurt and turmoil!
Do you agree that marriage isn’t the answer to your relationship problems? Drop a comment below!
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