He Treats You Like That Because You Let Him (Know Your Self-Worth)!

A couple of nights ago, my wife and I had a very interesting conversation. She asked me, “Why do you think some guys treat their woman badly?” That was a great question. We had to stop and analyze for a few minutes, before she came up with a concise answer. She said, “I think it’s because the woman allows her man to treat her badly.” It seemed like a huge epiphany. It made total sense to us. Let me elaborate for you. Nowadays we seem to see more men disrespecting their woman, calling her out of her name and simply treating her like trash. It has basically become a norm for men to treat their woman like she’s beneath him. This is totally unacceptable — but how can women put an end to it?

Ladies, here’s how:

Realize your self-worth.

Many women sadly don’t realize their self-worth. Most of the time, this is due to repeatedly getting their heart broken by careless men. Women, it’s great to have a man to validate you. But what’s more important is that you need to realize the power in first validating yourself. If you can’t tell yourself that you’re beautiful, amazing and invaluable, you’ve automatically given your man the power to control how you see yourself. This then results in you constantly seeking validation from your man. In other words, you’ve given him the authority to measure your self-worth for you. With this authority, your man can easily tell you you’re not so beautiful and you’re not so amazing (not just through words but through actions) — then what happens? You start to believe it and you become numb to the fact that he’s degrading you. But if you realize your self-worth, no one will have the power to degrade or devalue you — not even your man. To be clear, your man shouldn’t even have the desire to degrade you in the first place — especially if that man is your husband. But the sad truth is, it still happens in many relationships. Some men (not all) have this innate desire to keep control over their woman. So they will purposely run over you just enough to keep you there, yet maintain power over you. Women, you have to know your worth. So, how else can knowing your value prevent you from being treated badly?

A woman who knows her true value, sub-consciously forces a man to respect her and value her himself.

When a man see’s that a woman values herself, his mindset towards her is that of high respect. Take me for example. When I first met my wife, I immediately possessed a high level of respect for her. The way she carried herself was and still is amazing. She’s not arrogant at all — but she knows what she’s worth. She knows that she’s a child of God and that she deserves to be treated with respect, care and dignity. She’s knows she’s beautiful, intelligent, funny and outgoing (the list goes on). My wife is fully aware of who and what she is. Therefore, from the beginning, her persona commanded my mind to respect her and treat her like a queen. Guess what? My mind obliged. Not that I had any intentions of treating her badly — because that’s not me. But regardless of whether my intentions were good or bad — her persona told me that she needed to be treated a certain way. Point. Blank. Period.

A woman who knows her true value, empowers her to refuse to settle for less.

Knowing her true value will automatically make any woman set her standards high. Nothing is wrong with high standards. It doesn’t mean that you’re too prideful. It’s simply saying, “Hey, I’m not just anybody. I expect my man to live up to my high standards and I will never accept any excuse as to why he can’t.” Every woman — and I mean every woman needs to have high standards for their man. Trust me. It not only helps you as a woman get treated incredibly, but it makes us as men be better men. Ladies, knowing your value means you won’t settle for less. You won’t settle for the name calling, domestic violence or any other intolerable issues that could be going on in your relationship. You’ll have the power to say, “Enough is enough. I deserve better and I deserve better now.” I knew my wife had this demeanor from the beginning. I knew within myself that I would always give her my best, but the way she carried herself revealed to me that she would always require my best — and no less. To this day, I strive to give her the best of me. I strive to give her everything she desires, because we both know her true value and we both know she deserves it.

A woman who knows her true value, makes her a strong woman.

Any good man wants a strong woman. Only bad men want weak women, because they know they can walk all over her and she’ll accept the abuse. But when a lady knows her value and therefore presents herself as strong, that will also command high respect from her man. Being a strong woman doesn’t necessarily mean that you intimidate your man. No one wants to feel intimidated in their relationship. Being strong simply means you have the power to stand up for yourself and express what you desire/require of your man without hesitation.

Ladies, I can’t express it enough. From this day forward, you’ve got to realize your self-worth. You’ve got to realize that you’re beautiful, gifted and were created by God Himself. Therefore your value is immeasurable! Once you realize this, you will see a change in your life. You will command respect and you will get what you deserve (you deserve the best)! When you don’t know your self-worth, it will cause you to settle for less. You can’t let that happen anymore. This article in no way insinuates that a man has the right to treat a woman badly. Whether a woman knows her true worth or not — gives no room for tolerance of an abusing man (whether it’s physical, emotional or spiritual). But ladies, I encourage you to look into the mirror, and say “I deserve the best, because I’m worth it.” Then begin to carry yourself in that manner. From this day forth, you will no longer let him treat you badly. Speak it, believe it and walk it. Remember your true worth.

– Micheal

Micheal Boyd

Micheal Boyd

Author & Blogger at Agape Her
Micheal is the owner and writer of Agape Her, where he publishes articles on marriage advice. His passion for marriage and writing inspires him to encourage husbands to love their wives unconditionally -- as God intended. Be sure to check out his awesome books! You can contact Micheal at: micheal@agapeher.com
Micheal Boyd

Micheal Boyd

Micheal is the owner and writer of Agape Her, where he publishes articles on marriage advice. His passion for marriage and writing inspires him to encourage husbands to love their wives unconditionally -- as God intended. Be sure to check out his awesome books! You can contact Micheal at: micheal@agapeher.com


  1. Not so true! My my first husband treated me very well. After 13 years we divorced by growing apart. My second husband treats me like I’m beneath him and definitely beneath his kids. The thing is, I know I’m beautiful, although I don’t throw this out verbally but I don’t need too. Not to sound snarky but compared to his ex I’m a big step up for him. Beauty is nothing compared to intellect and I know his ex is not the “sharpest knife in the drawer”, and I’ve completed a masters degree.
    It’s caused many arguments because I stand up for myself. I want this marriage to work but I have tried every bit of advice given and that I’ve read and nothing I do changes his low level of respect for me. Point is, my marriage will not survive by refusing his treatment but I also refuse to continue living like this

    • Exactly. This is my experience. No matter how highly a woman values herself there are still some men out there who are incapable of behaving appropriately towards you. It’s a loss for them!

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