A few days ago I released a quote of mine on the Agape Her Facebook page. It read: “The best thing a man can do for his wife, is ensure that she’s always secure in him.” It received quite a handful of attention, so I decided to venture into how a man can make his wife feel secure. In the heart of every wife, there lies 1 of 3 desires:
She desires to feel secure in her husband; or
She desires to feel more secure in her husband; or
She desires to continue to feel secure in her husband.
Any and all wives fall into one of the categories above. If there’s no security, she desires it. If there’s little security, she desires more. If there’s plenty of security, she desires for it to remain that way.
So, what exactly is security?
In a nutshell: Security is the ability for a man to extend love, safety and comfort to his wife. This is what every woman wants in her man. Without security, stability lacks; and where stability lacks, marriages begin to crumble. In order to prevent this – men have got to know how to make his wife feel secure in him.
Here are 5 essential methods you must know:
Keep God First
I can’t stress enough how important it is to keep God first in your relationship. Men, no matter how much you love your wife, you’ve got to ensure that God remains ahead of her (and of course this goes vice versa as well). Keeping God first ensures spiritual stability over your marriage. When God is honored through your marriage, He will continue to keep your marriage.
It’s also important to note that a husband should consistently be praying for his wife. Don’t just pray for what she desires to have – but also pray for what she needs. If she’s sick, pray for her healing; if she’s going through a trial, be there for her and pray for her deliverance. When a wife knows that her man has her back spiritually, she is bound to feel secure in him.
Love your wife unconditionally. I always advocate that acts of love have much more power and meaning than verbalizing your love. Any woman should know that she’s loved by her man unconditionally, by what he does for her and to her. Paul admonished all husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25). So, not only are husbands to love unconditionally, but we are also called to love sacrificially. If you’re a man reading this, are you willing to give up your needs and desires to fulfill your wife’s needs and desires? Are you willing to sacrifice time, energy, finances and whatever else, to ensure your wife feels loved by you? When a woman knows that she’s loved by her man, she’ll have no choice but to feel security.
Provide For Her
In one of my more recent articles, I indicated that in this economy, most households need 2 sources of incomes (i.e. both the husband and wife work). That’s understandable — especially when the household has kids as well. However, all men should be prepared to do what it takes to provide for his wife (and family) when hard times come. A woman should feel secure in knowing that her man will go out and get 3 jobs if he has to, in order to make sure his household is taken care of. She should feel secure in knowing that her husband is a hard worker and will continuously make provisions for her. A wife was never meant to stress about finances — and every husband should make sure she never has to.
Men are built to protect. The muscular structure and masculinity of a man was created by no accident. God created man as strong beings so that he can protect his wife and family. This is not to say that women are defenseless and helpless — because that’s not the case. Women are more than capable of defending themselves. But a man is responsible for ensuring the safety of his wife/family. If you hear something sketchy in the middle of the night, the man shouldn’t be the one to send his wife to go check it out! It should be ingrained in us men to go into protect mode and prepare to defend our family from harm at all costs. If you’re walking down the street together, the woman should feel protected by her husband. If you’re at the mall, the same goes. She should feel protected no matter where they are. Men, if this means you have to work out more or take some fighting classes in order to feel like you can protect your family — by all means, do it! You definitely want your wife/family to feel secure and protected by you.
But that’s not all.
Men shouldn’t only protect their woman physically, but on all levels as well. She should feel protected verbally. If someone is talking down to her, her man should be able to come to her rescue (verbally). He should be able to let the offender know: you’re talking to the wrong woman. You can’t talk about my wife like that! Have you lost your mind? I’m not advocating confrontation here, but if a man has to confront someone to protect his wife, he should have no problem doing it. She should also feel protected emotionally. Guard her heart! She should feel secure in knowing that you will never break it — but will always protect it.
Last, but definitely not least — a woman will never feel totally secure in her man, if she can’t trust him. Trust (or lack thereof) can make or break a relationship. All husband’s should ensure that his wife can trust him. When he’s away, she should never wonder who he’s really with. She should know that he loves her and her only. She should not only be able to trust his faithfulness to her, but she should also be able to trust his finances and every decision he makes for her and the family. Trust brings about much security — and any man should want his wife to totally trust in him at all times and at all costs.
Applying these 5 essential methods will keep any woman secure in her man. Remember that lack of security brings instability to any relationship. Every wife deserves to feel secure in her man and every man should present her with that security!
What are you thoughts? Leave your comments below!
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